Living Independently: Your Life has Started
This all started when I kept seeing people write/say "I can't wait for my life to start when I get married".
I have to say, this isn't anything against getting married, I love weddings and celebrating love, but when I hear "I can't wait for my life to start" I find it problematic. I'm just going to write it....
Your life started the day you were born. You are living your life. If your life starts once you get married, what have you been doing?
I believe what you probably mean is, "I can't wait to start living my life with my future husband" or "I cannot wait for my partner to be a permanent fixture in my life". What I hear when someone says "I can't wait for my life to start" is that they have put their lives on hold waiting for a husband to do all the things they want.
Do you want to travel, but don't have the savings or are afraid to go by yourself?
Do you want to have a baby, but 10,000 people have given their opinion on how hard it will be by yourself?
Do you want to buy a house, but financially you cannot?
Regardless of your relationship status, you should feel whole as a person. You can communicate your emotions without asking someone else how you should feel/spend your money/let them decide the timeline of your life.
Figuring out what will give your life purpose and fulfillment is important and the number one step to feeling happy and living wholehearted. Making someone else happy is wonderful, but what about making yourself happy first? You weren't placed on this earth to make someone else happy, you are here for yourself first, then you can add to someone else's life.
Finding yourself when you are single is amazing. Finding yourself in a relationship is amazing, finding yourself after divorce is amazing. It doesn't matter what stage you are in life, finding your wholehearted lifestyle is amazing. If you hide yourself behind another person, how will you ever know what you want?
It's 2020, you are allowed to have the life you want, when you want it. Your life doesn't start by adding someone else to it. It starts when you are born and can have many layers of joy and purpose, once you decide it does.
It's up to you to decide the joy you get and when it happens. Stop saying "can't wait for my life to start" and stop pushing back things that you want to do once you find the special person. Live the life you want.
All my love,
Samantha