Being Really Single
I already know what you're thinking "Sam, we know you are a single person". I know, but I've never really talked about it. I have a lot of feelings about the dating trends I have to live in. It sucks. Dating just sucks. As a person who has had bad dating experiences, I know that dating a new person involves a lot of thought and processing for me. Sometimes I can't be open right away and sometimes I get so anxious about feelings that I cancel everything.
I am also envious of the people who are already married because they don't have to date in 2019. Seriously, it's a nightmare, there are so many apps and there are so many weirdo's to go through. Then you have friends who claim they know no cute men and you know why? Because they don't and they have to live through the same stuff you are going through. Ladies, we are stuck in this together and I have so many feels.
I'm going to talk about all the problems for dating in 2019. This is why I am really single.
1) Obviously, dating apps suck
Every few weeks, I download a new dating app, normally within 24 hours, I delete it. At first, I feel hopeful, then after being asked if I am "up" too many times, I delete it. Let's face it, we're on dating apps to see who is there or hookup. If it happens and you meet someone, great, but other than that dating apps just suck.
The men never have good profiles and it's extremely annoying. I have to look like model and have a cute profile, but men just put these horrible pictures of themselves that they took at a terrible angle and they don't even put a bio and they expect us to swoon? I don't think so. I'm sure you're a nice guy, but if you don't put the effort to make your profile nice, you won't get matches. I'm so sick of "nice guys" getting mad at women because of their own laziness.
My other pet peeve with this is that when you do match with someone, they never say hi first, it's always so strange. What was the match for? Why are you orbiting my life? I understand that there's no real thought behind swiping, but you're here, so you may as well fish or cut bait.
Finally, I am worth more than a message at 2am. You want to impress me, message me when I am awake, don't make me feel like an afterthought.
2) Dating trends that are scary
Ghosting is one of the only ways we find to stop talking to someone without saying "hey, I don't think this will workout". Is it weird that we can't handle someone else's emotions? Yes, yes it is. That being said, I am not here to talk about ghosting, I am here to talk about something way worse. Orbiting. What is orbiting? It's when an ex doesn't leave you alone on social media, but won't speak to you or reply to texts. Basically, it's terrifying and needs to stop.
They watch your Instagram stories because they have a part of themselves that needs to feed drama. For me, I felt like my ex was stocking me in a way that I couldn't escape and it was scary*. People, we see who watches our Insta stories. There is nothing wrong with old friends checking in, but it get's weird when someone has to go out of their way to search your name, then looks at your story, multiple times a day.
*Yes, I did block this person on all my social media's.
3) Being terrified of finding myself unconscious
One of my biggest fears is dating someone who kidnaps me and keeps me in a clear box. Yes, that is the plot line to You on Netflix, but I think I speak for all women who know this is a possibility in today's world. Catch the attention of the wrong guy and then he stocks you, bam, clear box. It's terrifying, so criminal record checks aren't out the equation for me if things start getting serious.
4) Toxic masculinity is so hard to deal with
I myself have little to no guy friends. I find it hard when they make misogynistic comments and expect me to laugh. No, not every men is like this, but I can't date someone who thinks it's funny to say "you're being such a pussy". It's toxic masculinity and it's exhausting to deal with. No one wants to deal with it and no one thinks it's funny.
Then you have the guys, who think they aren't toxic, until you ghost them or tell them you're not interested. Then they get mad and whiny and start calling you crazy because they cannot handle their own feelings and emotions.
5) Feeling like I am not good enough
I know I am worthy of amazing things, but when the only texts and/or comments you get are at 2:30am, it's deflating. What's wrong with texting someone at 2:30 in the afternoon, when you are sober? I've decided to not respond to guys who interact with me at times that are inappropriate. I am not a second choice, I am the first choice and it's not demanding or me being feminist, it's just common courtesy to let a human sleep at night and make them feel special if you're interested.
I am already so paranoid that my looks and personality aren't enough, I don't need a text to confirm that. Just for the record, I think I am gorgeous, intelligent, and have a wicked personality, but like every normal human, sometimes we let media and mean boys comments get to us.
I am not dating to be single forever, but I am single because I have standards and it's normal for me to meet them. I am the girl who is ambitious and I am the girl who get's what she wants. If you can't handle that, don't waste my time.
Thanks for reading,