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  • Writer's pictureSamantha Dawn

How I Stay Resilient

I was once asked, "How do you stay so motivated?". I said I didn't know, but now that I think of it, it's not being motivated, it's staying resilient.

I have lived a very resilient life. Nobody has an easy life, but nobody's life is so difficult, they can't find the silver lining. I firmly believe that there is always a way to find at least one good thing in any situation. The sun will rise tomorrow. The more we play to the negativity, the more our minds become clouded with anger and self doubt. The negativity can be contagious, but so can the positivity. Let me break down five ways I stay resilient.


Here is how I stay resilient

1) I allow myself to cry

There's nothing like a good cry to re-set my spirits. I let it out and then I am ready to go again. Allowing myself to feel all the emotions is okay. It took so long to realize that it's okay to cry. Nobody should make you feel bad for crying and no one should avoid a hard conversation because it will make you cry. Deal with it everyone.

2) My failures are successes

I was an average B student in University. I tried so hard. I got all the grades, every letter. I am not ashamed of that, it made me stronger. I use my grades as an example because it's the most universal. I had so many friends who got A's and didn't have to work for it. I got a B+ and I worked so hard for it. Failing taught me to persevere.

3) I stopped being to mean to myself

I had a friend who once asked me "How do you think your friends would act if you spoke to them the way to speak to yourself?". Game changer. I used to treat myself like crap. I was so mean to myself. Then I stopped and I stopped because being mean to myself wasn't bettering myself. I actually read a lot of personal development books and that's when the negative voice in my head started to stop.

4) I am grateful

All of the personal development books talk about writing down what your grateful for. I don't write down what I am grateful for, but I remind myself constantly of what I have to be grateful for. I am very fortunate and I am privileged, I don't pretend I am not and I know I have had opportunities that not everyone else has. I am thankful for my work ethic, but I earned that and I don't owe anyone for that. When I remind myself how grateful I am for things, I don't focus on what I don't have and I spend less time on negative thoughts.

5) I don't let people's negative thoughts of me, affect me

I've gone through multiple friend breakups and the one common thing I never do is continue the cycle of being a bad friend. I just stop being friends with the person. I don't thrive on toxic friendships where I need the approval of another person and I don't need a friend to bring me down because I am too much for them. Hunny, I am too much for a lot of people and it's not because of me, it's because of them. It's a them problem, not a me problem. Maybe they find me too positive, too happy, too needy, too self-absorbed, or too boring. THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM. Say it with me, "it's not my problem!". There will be other friends, so if you feel the need to keep bad friends around because you don't think you will make more, you will, you are learning to be resilient.

I stopped caring about what people thought of me because it prevented me from being happy. It made me sad and the cycle never stopped.


Thanks for reading,


#25 #Advice #Life #Millennial #twentysomething


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