Road Reveals: Why I Said Yes To Myself
It's not easy saying yes. For me, I was really good at saying yes to other people, like: "yes, I can volunteer for this" or "sure, I can go do that for you". I was terrible at saying yes to myself.
A lot of people are incapable of saying yes to themselves. I mean, why would we say yes to ourselves when we can people please? When we can focus all our attention on someone else and completely disintegrate our health? When we can completely abandon our dreams and goals to make sure someone else's is accomplished? When we can feel totally helpless, but nobody notices because you have a smile permanently plastered on your face?
Did anyone angrily resonate with what I just wrote? Yes? Good, that means you're tired of sitting on the sidelines and you're tired of not caring for yourself.
I know life get's busy, we are constantly on the move; giving yourself time is impossible. We forget about ourselves and when life get's stressful, we find ways to cope. I like many coped with food. Bags of chocolate was my weakness when I was stressed. I could eat an entire bag of milk chocolate pieces in an hour while studying, or organizing something, or sitting while watching Netflix because I was too stressed. Don't get me wrong, I loved organizing events and attempting to engage students in activities for school, but it was stressful. So instead of finding healthy ways to deal with the stress, I would eat bags of chocolate. Then I would go home, eat half of my supper and go back to school where I would grab a snack and a coffee or tea and do something else that inevitably caused more stress.
Shonda Rhimes really explains it well in her book Year of Yes
I was numbing my stress with a bag of chocolate. No wonder I gained 45 pounds in university. I had access to snacks all the time and no one was telling me that bags of chocolate were bad for me. I knew they were bad, but in my brain, they were perfectly fine, a great way to handle stress. No one teaches you that university will be more stress than you can handle or how to handle that stress. I mean I just gained weight and lost my hair. I thought I was pretty healthy too, compared to other students, I was relatively healthy.
It was only in January of 2015 that I had my real wake-up call and that's when I decided that I needed to take care of myself. I couldn't keep dating losers who weren't invested in me, I couldn't not exercise, and I couldn't keep eating my feelings. School stress: I had already removed a lot of it after January 2014, so I was doing okay with handling what I was involved with and actual classes. It was time to focus on myself, learn to love myself again. I took a lot of baby steps in the first year, but my health still wasn't a first priority. Writing and my blog were so vital and then slowly but surely, health became a priority. Although there were some very real setbacks in the first year, by 2016, I was ready to commit to my health for real this time. I started the 21 Day Fix and for a whole week, I had seen differences, then someone discouraged me and well I stopped participating. Then I met my Beachbody coach and then I was part of a monthly challenge group which was vital in maintaining my health goals.
By the time May rolled around, I knew that I wanted to be a coach, I just needed that nudge. I met with my coaches coach and we talked for a while and the thing that stood out the most to me was "How would you feel if you were allowed to say yes to yourself ?" Not sure if that's exactly how it was said, but the idea of saying yes to myself seemed pretty great.
SIDE NOTE: I was concerned that the cost would be too much for me. It seemed pretty steep and I didn't know if I could afford the Shakeology and monthly coach fee. I looked at my bank account and I realized that I spent more than what a bag of Shakeology costs on snacks and extra stuff every month. Crazy town right?! I knew that if I wanted to commit to my health that the snack train had to stop. So they did and so did the purchase of expensive makeup, I didn't need it anymore. I was committing to myself to focusing on what was truly good for me. I have enough makeup to last me a lifetime and snacks aren't good for me. I mean sure, I still get a treat from time to time, but that's only when I put money away in the bank. I am actually saving money every month because I buy the essentials and I don't need to buy stuff that just numbs me. If you're thinking "Sam, I can't re-finance my life, my bills are too high", well think about it like this: what are you paying for in groceries, or what are you buying that isn't worth it. Do you buy a lot of fancy drinks? Or expensive makeup? Do you really need your monthly subscription to magazines, or makeup, or clothing boxes? What are you buying every month that you don't really need, but like? Do you already have a protein powder, supplements, and pre-workout that is costing you a small fortune a month in hopes that it will work amazingly, but it always kind of disappoints in the end? Maybe it's time to say goodbye if you're committed to your health and yourself? People find Shakeology so expensive, but it's really not that bad. What is scary is the initial shock, the initial, "OMG, I can't spend that much money on myself" even if you can afford it. Yes, you can spend money on yourself and yes, you could be making money as a Beachbody coach. It's interesting because people find more satisfaction in something they wanted to invest in because they see the value of the product. When people don't see the value in something, they buy the cheaper option and are often disappointed. It's all about how you value money and how you want to spend it. If you see the value in it, it will most likely work for you because you will use it properly and cherish it. If I can stop buying makeup every month, you can give up something that isn't filling you up as a person!
So now that I was ready to say yes to myself, it was time to actually put things into action. I became a coach and got into doing my first full round of 21 Day Fix. I measured myself and in 21 days I lost 9.5 inches. Sure, I lost inches, but heres what I gained: confidence. After years of putting myself second, I didn't have much confidence. Now, I love how much confidence I have. It's kind of incredible how happy I have become in the last three months. I also have hair again, which is just the best at 23. Oh and the count for inches lost sits at 16 right now, I can't wait to see what else I lose, but gain in the next few months.
Are you ready to put yourself first? Are you ready to say yes to yourself? Good! I want you to join the October challenge group. It will change the way you see working out and health, it's filled with people who all support each other and it'll rock your world to know that there is a team of people who want to see you succeed. Let's chat, email me at email@example.com or PM on Facebook.